Of things that were..All the things that could have been.

Came home after 3 days, n saw my "I love Gran" thimble downstairs, was expecting something to have changed in my room.. But what a contrast!!! my room seems so spic n span, anything but my room!! The almirahs now put the hotels to shame!! My Mum's done a marvellous cleaning job.. its as if she waved her magic wand n everything came to its original place!
n then came out things that i'd kept inside for a long time; the cards n the letters.. Memories; happy n sad.. My Grandad's letters, the only plausible link to him.. its funny how it hurts to read them now, thinking how he remembered me on all my birthdays, atleast painstakingly sending me a letter each time.. N the last birthday.. He got his will made that day.. Didnt even think of me, didnt wish me, didnt call me.. did he forget me? when all his life, I was made to believe I was so important to him, I was his favourite grandchild,favoured n loved.. Can people create walls that huge that a person cant cross it,even if he wants to?
was he that weak a man? Maybe he was, maybe he had something to tell me.. i feel he owed me an explanation..
But why does it so happen that people leave you,making you feel something remained behind incomplete.. unanswered questions, an unexplained complication of relations.. everything.. making you feel if only he'd been around a few more days, a few more months, maybe a few more years.. N maybe things would've been better, happier, n we'd have been a lot more closer. Maybe he'd have seen me at work, n maybe he'd have felt the pride all over again..
All the things that could've been.. maybe they just weren't meant to be.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I'm funny and amusing,
Stop thinking me a clown.

Sometimes I'm pretty strong,
Stop thinking me a mountain.

Sometimes I hear whatever you gotta say,
Stop thinking me a punching bag.

Sometimes I dont react,
Stop thinking me cold.

Sometimes I'm quiet,
Stop thinking me aloof.

Sometimes I dont show my hurt,
Stop thinking me heartless.

Sometimes I dont analyse people too much,
Stop thinking me a dumb wit.

Sometimes I think too deep,
Stop thinking me a psychic.

Sometimes I take pleasure in small little things,
Stop belittling my treasures.

Sometimes I break into peals of laughter,
Stop envying my happiness.

Sometimes I mayn't behave perfect,
Stop reminding me how I should be.

I'm only a girl
Just let me be me...