Potent Concoctions

V

2011-03-22T12:37:00.000-07:00

Long pending!

He's childish, and yet he's wise too. Falls for any girl that literally just walks past his eyes, and yet holds some of them in very high regard. He's a die hard fan of Sachin Tendulkar, and would die with equal passion for Man U. He's a Shahrukh fan, AND a Sunny Deol fan too!! He's Viraj Desai, a friend who came by and became a friend when I didn't think I would make any.. Come to think of it, the tally's two! (Z n V)

Unknowingly or knowingly, he's stood by me through a period of absolute low, making life lighter through his sense of humor. Made both Mumbai and summer internship seem less daunting!

Those lunches at third floor of Mahindra Towers, those paltry evening snacks served by MOBM, the food at Banjara, the pav bhaji at Sardar, and the time we bought that Lego Mask... we share some fond memories Viraj, and I hope we create many more!

I'm glad to have a friend like you, and better still, Its nice to know that not all IIM folks are snooty!!!

Here's wishing you a happy 23rd birthday once again pal!

A thought flitting by!

2010-12-23T15:23:00.000-08:00

What's worse than people not having confidence in you for doing something??

People being confident about you not being able to do that thing.

Its horribly depressing when the folks closest to you are so sure you can't do things that by others' standards are virtually nothing. And it only gets worse to know that their judgement is based on your own past track-record. But I'm going to let that be the motivation behind changing certain things, and accomplishing the impossible. Let that be the inspiration behind a few small-nothings of my life.

God, let tomorrow be a new day! :)

U

2010-11-25T16:06:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was a girl who'd lived a life that revolved around family. Her stint in college only made her wary of people, and the fact that you couldn't really call the people you spoke to, your friends.. As she grew up through her college years, she made a resolve of not making too many friends, not letting anyone into her cosy cocoon.. MBA followed soon after, and that's when I met U.

U for Urv, the one friend who's name is smaller than any nick-names I could think of! He's beared Urvie, Urva n Urvalicious.. The current one's Urvoo and the newest fad being Tara Chand Rattu Baroda Wale..

The first friend I made in XIMBAland, and someone who's stuck by me through thick n thin.. (N we all know there's been plenty of that). I cant remember how we became friends, but do know we fell into the same group on Day 1 of Orientation! He ofcourse still maintains that Sally's his official first friend here! :)

He listens to you so patiently, sometimes you wish and pray that he'd talk a bit more!! I'd want to say I know him very well, but then there's very little he'll talk about himself.

Some U-rivia:

Fav cartoon: Garfield

Fav serial: Friends

Fav beverage: Chai

Fav subject: MEAP (Oooooorrvvv)

Fav specialization: HR

Fav activity: Keeping quiet, n star gazing

Fav Dance-form: JLT style

Reasons for being online: In a boring class/ getting a survey filled

Heard at X-cafe: Paneer-do-pyaza - bina pyaz aur paneer bhi kamm

In his own quiet way, he's been a stong pillar of support, a partner in mischief, a counsellor, and a friend in the true sense of the word..I found my three closest friends here at XIM, but it all started with U.

T

2010-11-25T15:29:00.000-08:00

Can't think of a person with a name starting from T, but there's a statement in my mind rite now which starts from T...

The two things I thank Mumbai for..

Anuj Das

Zinnia Sheoran

Coincidentally, both have a nickname blessed to them by me, that begins from T!!!

P.S.: To avoid any emotional blackmail, the names have been written in alphabetical order. Love you both!

Last Words

2010-07-09T18:22:00.000-07:00

Everyone dies sometime kiddo. Some of them before you; some of them long after you. The most important part of your lives is the time that you spend with these people, that’s why all of you are here.

You need all of them, and they need you. For what? To remember to be able to let go, to move on.

There’s no now, or here. There shall always be a place where you can find them, and know that you can be together forever. I call it the heart.

You might have a lot of questions that remained unanswered. Ask them, but remember that one question will only end up leading to another.

The key is to let go.

S

2010-06-11T14:36:00.000-07:00

After a long sabbatical, it feels good to be back. And that too to be writing about people with the alphabet S..

Simar Didi - Much more than an aunt, a soul-mate. Some one who reads me through.. A relationship that I cherish more than words can express. She knows me through n through - words spoken-unspoken, thoughts shared-unshared. A person with whom its almost impossible to keep any 'parda'.

Am glad the bond's the way it is.. The connection we share on an intuitive level amazes me, leaves me with goosebumps too at times.

You're so important in our lives, even you wouldnt know it.. Love you so much. :)

Shailendra (aka Sally aka Shiienta) - Its been a year since we formally met, but the bond is so much deeper than just a year..Been through a lot, suffered a lot, triumphed over situations. What's been common in all is the thought of being there for the other.

Finding a true friend is a wonderful blessing, and I'm quite a blessed person. From the OB meetings, where we didn't really agree to each and everything, to thoughts and discussions about life, principles, people, situations.. its amazing to be with someone where you're at ease, at peace.

Its amazing to have friends who're so close that they're family.

To me, that you Sal.. you're my family. Not a second family, not a family away from home. Simply family.

Saurabh (aka Jalaal aka Jelly) - There are times when words, and physical presence aren't essential to be friends. We talk more in emails than we do in person, but the bond's irreplaceable. No assurances needed, no promises to be with each other all the time.. the understanding, and the maturity makes me treasure the relationship more than even you would ever know Jelly.

I cherish that we can read each other's feelings most of the times, and I feel blessed to have found a dear friend in you. You treat me like a younger sister, and I think that makes me behave lesser than my 24 years.

I don't know if i'll get married or not, but if I do, you both know your role. The brothers hold the phulkari when the girl enters, that's where you should be..

God is my friend

2010-06-07T13:29:00.000-07:00

I like to ride alone in open spaces,

Perhaps you think I haven’t got a friend,

But I am telling you this is far from true,

Coz' never I'm alone, God is my friend.

He rides along with me in sunny weather,

He comes along on rainy days as well,

No matter where I ride, he's always by my side.

And when I'm tired and weary, he reminds me

That Earthly joys and troubles fade away.

He lifts my thoughts above and he offers me His love,

Then all my cares n troubles fade away.

I like to ride alone in open spaces,

Perhaps you think I haven't got a friend..

The unpredictability of Life

2010-04-03T12:44:00.000-07:00

At times in your life, you realize how important it is to express. To speak before its too late. to let the other person know how important they are to you.

I wish there was a way I could bring my Chacha back.. wish there was a way I could change things, change things for him.. And let him know that he didn't die unloved and uncared for.

Its so difficult to make peace with the fact that he lived such a dual life.. And once again, there are so many questions that he left unanswered.. Its difficult to live with the letters that i sent him, which he's still preserved, and the fact that the only person he ever talked about was me.. And that he called me on new years day perhaps knowing all too well that it was the last time he could wish me that..

Bought a keepsake today from what he left behind. As a remembrance, and as a constant reminder of who he wanted me to be.

I wish there was a way I could tell you that I loved you Chacha, and you shall always be missed.. Missed so so much..

And, I still end up calling your number just coz I dont have the strength to delete it yet..

R

2010-01-09T22:46:00.000-08:00

Writing after quite a long while, been through so much in the past 6 months, its like living an express life. Say 2 years squashed into a span of half a year. Got a be it lost down the line it seems..

So, R it is!!

1). Roopi, for being my best sister ever.. We weren't the original pair amongst u

s cousins, and there was a time around adolescence when we weren't as close as we used to be earlier. But time's brought us together, and my stay in Delhi cemented the bond we

shared.. Our antics at home, tree climbing at the Pind, n the way we used to bug Anu in Delhi, is still so fresh in my mind!

Yo Troops, "Hum tumhe chahte hain aise, marrne wala koi zindagi chahtaa ho jaise...!!" Relishing the disgust that was evident on Anu's face!!!

I'm glad to have a wonderful cousin, who's never made me feel t

hat I didn't have any real siblings. Am so glad we've shared our childhood, there're so many happy memories coz of you girl!!

2). Ruchi - A long way from being competitors to best friends.. She had this

notion I was her biggest competitor since childhood. Me, lazy bum, obviously had no such thou

ts crossing my mind. I owe it to Bhasin Ma'am n her tuitions, for providing the back-d

rop for our fri

endship. Been 11 years since we (rather you) officially declared a truce n became friends. N am so glad to have you around. For the sheer comfort of being able to speak to you at any time n b

eing able to pick up from wherever we left last.

Distance hasn't affected our friendship, n that's what matters!! :)

P

2009-10-26T01:52:00.001-07:00

seems like my most favourite people have their names beginning from P, and sharing their nick names as well. Talking about Prabh 'n' Prabh again, who're separated if by nothing else, then about 20 years... and connected by the common link that's me...

hmm.. Prabh Sr.. :D known each other since 2003, started with the complete bolloywood-ish interaction of getting the wrong impression of him, eventually bonded as best of friends, n now an indispensible part of each others' lives. Any problem, or a personal low in life, n he's been there for me!

Thanks a bunch for that!! n cheers to us! :)

n Prabh Jr.. oh well, she's the proverbial apple of my eye.. although if you look through her eyes, I'm owned by her! :) my adorable li'l cousin who's going to turn 5 in Feb.. Her antics, n conversations keep us amused all the time.. its fun seeing her grow up in front of my eyes. (she's gaining height now!)

Also, to mention Pratik, from being at loggerheards in Baxter, to being a guide as well as a friend, we've gone a long way.. Couldnt make it to his wedding, but then it should have been celebrated in Punjab anyway!!

Oh n its his Birthday today. So a very Happy Birthday Pratik!

O

2009-10-18T11:34:00.000-07:00

O's reserved for Sr. Oleen, one of my favourite nuns at school.... after Sr. Licetta ofcourse.. i wish there was a way i could contact both of them, all my attempts so far have been futile.

I first met Sr. Oleen in grade 7th, when i used to go for an early basketball session and she'd be at her office n inadvertently half the time i'd keep chatting with her. i owe her the bougainvillea flowers that she taught me to make... :)

and of course the moral science lessons too..

I made a promise to her, of making her proud of the person i'd shape up to be.. still striving to achieve it Sister, hoping to meet you sometime again..

Life's too short, i hope i see you soon! :)

N

2009-10-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

After ages now, I'm finally back at where I'd left.. N has to be Neha, a friend from Carmel, with the USP being that we werent in the school together for even a single academic year. Owing our first encounter ( :P )to Bharti who introduced us during our time at the Univ.,the friendship's been built over numerous Nik's goodies n Ovenfresh, and cemented by my visits to Delhi!

n how can i forget the yahoo messenger... Boy! thats a vote of thanks to quite a lot of things!

N getting down to the actual, Thanks nehu.. for being the wonderful friend you are, for providing a different perspective to my thoughts whenever I've been low or lost, and of course for including me in your newspaper!

MM 1

2009-08-05T07:47:00.000-07:00

"Its not your grandmother's sewing machine anymore!!!"

that sums up our project on this neela samandar rann-neeti that we learnt recently... oh what a hilarious time we had, trying to cook up a new wonderous version of the sewing machine!

2009-08-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

I feel a feel, n a weird feel i feel...but what i really cant figure out is why i've been feeling this sinking feeling, reminding me of Dec. 18th '01, and Feb. 10th '07.. does a sixth sense really exist? is it the sub-conscious? can one really sense stuff, feel it happening even though there arent any signs/ signals?

all afternoon i kept thinking there was something that was going wrong, something was amiss; n now when i kinda know what's wrong, it doesnt really make me feel any better.. Worse, it makes me think of what's eventually going to happen. And the helplessness of not knowing just how much time before it happens, only leaves you crying out in frustration.

can you ever really prepare yourself to lose someone you love, adore n respect.. someone who's your definition of what a person should be..

how do you see the person who epitomised strength for you grow weak, day by day..

n how do you tell yourself to remain calm when you're miles away from where you actually should've been..

Baanwra Mann...

2009-05-25T00:51:00.000-07:00

Baanwra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna
Baanwre se mann ki dekho baanwri hain baatein
Baanwri si dhadhkanein hain baanwri hain saansein..
Baanwri si karwaton se nindiya kyon bhaage,
Baanwre se nain chahein baanwre jharokhon se
baanwre nazaaron ko takna......

Baanwra mann dekhne chala ek sapna...

Baanwre se is jahaan mein baanwra ek saath ho
Is sayaani bheed mein bas haathon mein tera haath ho
Baanwri si dhun ho koi baanwra ek raag ho.
Baanwre se pair chahein baanwre taraanon ke
baanwre se bol pe thirakna.

Baanwra mann dekhne chala ek sapna...

Baanwra sa ho andhera baanwri khamoshiyaan
Thartharaati lau ho maddham baanwri madhoshiyaan
Baanwra ek ghunghta chahe haule haule bin bataaye
Baanwre se mukhde se sarakna.

M

2009-05-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

M simply has to be Meggie.. from 2003 to 2007, if there ever was a 180 degree turn in my perception of a person; it has to be Megha Misra aka Stromba Orfila. From a subconscious dislike for each other, to being unseparable pals, I've really got to thank Prof. Bhoop for making us Lab-partners. From Lab-partners to study-partners; to partners-in-mischief, to friends for life.., That's the year 2007. From talking endlessly to be able to understand each other better, to now being able to understand each-others silence, that's our friendship!

You've stood by me always Meg. n I'm glad i can bake chocolate cakes n match that up!!!! :P Oh n ofcourse by guiding you in building up a massive collection of multi-lingual phrases!!!

Khereyan De Naal

2009-05-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

Ho.. Na maaye na bhej mujhe,

main naieen jaana pardes - (2)

(High) Jis ranjhe sang saans judi woh,

Ranjha hai(..) iss des ve..

Main nai jaana khereyan de naal.

Main....naieen jana khereyan de naal.. (2)

Log kahe usse ranjha jogi,

Mujhko toh Rabb ka jamaa.

Jaane na Jaane, log na jaane,

Woh jaane mera haal..

(High) Naah bhej na maaye mujhko,

main naieen jana naiee janaa;

Naiee jana main naiee jana..

Main-naiee jaana ve!

Main.. naiee janaa Khereyan de Naal -(3)

Band aankhon se raah dekhe na,

Jhevon jyot jagayi..

Ranjha mera deen dharameraa,

Ya hai kol khudayi..

(High) Naah bhej na maaye mujhko,

main naiee jana naiee janaa;

Main janaa naiee main jaana..

Main-naiee jaaaanaaa!

Main....(soft) naieen janaa Khereyan de Naal..

main naieee main jaanaa.. Khereyan de naal.. -(2)

L

2009-05-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

Been just plain lazy.. these past few days/ weeks/ months..

So.. L.. just one soulthat i know of, and thankfully a good one! This one's for Lally... ( The computer wala banda of the house). For coming n rectifying all the computer probs.
And ofcourse for being the wonderful person n brother/friend/uncle (do i see you cringing?) that you are.

Lessons from a Dog..

2009-02-07T01:30:00.000-08:00

If a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

*When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

*Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

*Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

*Take naps.

*Stretch before rising.

*Run, romp, and play daily.

*Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

*Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

;*On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

*On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

*When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

*Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

*Be loyal.

*Never pretend to be something you're not.

*If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

*When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

K

2008-12-18T10:03:00.001-08:00

Some people leave an indelible mark on your life. they provide you with thoughts that become your principles. Their understanding of the world prepares you for what you would eventually face.
Only once they go, they leave you with the one question you ought never to ask.. Why? why so soon? K goes to Kanwar Singh Sahota.For unknowingly (or maybe he did know it) shaping me into a better and stronger person.

Its co-incidence or something much deeper than that, that today's the date that I'm writing about him.

J

2008-12-17T04:52:00.001-08:00

Jaskaran.

Better known as Karan.. we've been around each other all our lives, but he's gradually grown up to being my ideal elder brother. Thanks Karan, for being around.. And, for the cutest reaction possible, to the Rakhi! :) you mean a great deal!

I

2008-12-16T02:36:00.000-08:00

Ishwar. For proving that net friendships can also be true, and for life. And, for providfing counseling during the hard pharmacy years.

Irwin. For causing me to learn some of the most difficult lessons in life.
And, for eventually helping me learn the lesson of forgiveness.

Discovery!!

2008-12-15T12:20:00.000-08:00

was googling my grandpa's name (Dr. H. S. Sohi) to see the number of listings when it struck me to try out mine. I didn't know I'd been written about.. in an article written by a friend for the golden jubilee celebrations of our school!!
http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/to-golden-years/337067/

My Grandpa's my choice for the letter H.
For the love he bestowed on me, for the lessons he taught me, for all the games he played with me when i was a child, for the long walks in the hills, for the heartbreak his death caused, and for the many questions he left unanswered.

G

2008-10-24T08:16:00.000-07:00

Gurdial Singh Sohi.
My great-grandfather.. Not a lot of people are fortunate enough to get to meet their great grandad. I, on the other hand, shared rooms with him for the early years of my childhood! The fond memories go back to the time when i was born. He holds a special place in my heart coz he was the one person in my paternal family who knew what unconditional love meant.. He holds the special place coz he was the first to come n see me.. :)
Babaji.. So, G has to be him!

E n F

2008-10-02T13:54:00.001-07:00

cant think of anyone.. maybe I'd name Ebenezer Scrooge of The Christmas Carol; for indirecting teaching us all 9th/ 10th graders to be benevolent n kind!!! (School curriculum reading)

maybe I'll update "E" sometime..

F

Francis. He's Dheeraj to all of us.
A childhood friend. we suddenly caught up on Christmas, n travelled back to our Childhood days.. n the warmth n genuineness of the friendship is still intact.
His "Sat Sri Akal Bhainji" is so endearing!. N Boy! He's convinced I really dont have a life...... :

2008-10-02T13:37:00.001-07:00

n there's Dollar.. lighting up the candles on my B'day. :)

D

2008-09-26T02:45:00.000-07:00

Dollar..
My li'l brother.. (by 2 years). We've been a gang(when its the two of us you're talking about, 2 IS a gang!) since childhood. His sheer intelligence n presence of mind is worth appreciating. Doesnt talk much, but knows exactly what to say and when. Lifts up the mood, understands my troubles, brings me back to Earth whenever I fly too far.
The real name,by the way, is Gursimran. To me he's Dolly(poor baby), and Chapdu.. :)
Love you lots Dolly..

C

2008-09-26T02:42:00.000-07:00

Chacha..
Hmm now the name's Gurpartap. But to me he's been Chacha.. more of friends, we dont really need to talk endless to be able to assure each other that we'd stick around.; although i really used to call him a lot while in med. school..

Gosh! I miss him.n I missed attending his wedding too! (April 26th '08)

B

2008-09-24T04:09:00.000-07:00

Biji, Bharti

Biji: the one person I adore so much, My maternal grandmother.. dont even want to imagine a world without her.. as a baby I had 2 mothers, two beautiful women that i referred to as "Mama". My mum n my Grandma.. She's been the perfect Grandma, n also a mother to my Dad..

(Up above in the pic: Biji, on the right; her sister on the left, my cousin n me at the back.Location: Dining room, a random summer afternoon)

Bharti: we weren't the best of friends in school, but she's the person who initiated me to blogging. Quite an influence i must say.. n Gosh! her blog does inspire me..

People who've influenced my life, taught me a lesson...

2008-09-24T02:48:00.000-07:00

There come times when i get bogged down, when people also seem to have the capacity of making me fret/feel weak/get irritated/etc etc.. I guess all of us feel that way some time or the other..
So, today, trying to put all my negative thoughts n frustrations aside, im going to get down to writing atleast one person from each alphabet who's made a difference to my life. About people who've made my world a special place, or people who were brought into my life only to help me learn a lesson.

Beginning now..
Mum n Dad anyway are special, so I'm not including them..

A
Anu... She's told me how to live life to the fullest, while also being responsible for yourself, n managing things so well. she's my motu, n a complete sweetheart. "Mast Maula", but a responsible n a beautiful person!

by the way, for lack of a better pic of her, im posting one clicked on Mum's birthday!

Of things that were..All the things that could have been.

2008-07-22T03:55:00.001-07:00

Came home after 3 days, n saw my "I love Gran" thimble downstairs, was expecting something to have changed in my room.. But what a contrast!!! my room seems so spic n span, anything but my room!! The almirahs now put the hotels to shame!! My Mum's done a marvellous cleaning job.. its as if she waved her magic wand n everything came to its original place!
n then came out things that i'd kept inside for a long time; the cards n the letters.. Memories; happy n sad.. My Grandad's letters, the only plausible link to him.. its funny how it hurts to read them now, thinking how he remembered me on all my birthdays, atleast painstakingly sending me a letter each time.. N the last birthday.. He got his will made that day.. Didnt even think of me, didnt wish me, didnt call me.. did he forget me? when all his life, I was made to believe I was so important to him, I was his favourite grandchild,favoured n loved.. Can people create walls that huge that a person cant cross it,even if he wants to?
was he that weak a man? Maybe he was, maybe he had something to tell me.. i feel he owed me an explanation..
But why does it so happen that people leave you,making you feel something remained behind incomplete.. unanswered questions, an unexplained complication of relations.. everything.. making you feel if only he'd been around a few more days, a few more months, maybe a few more years.. N maybe things would've been better, happier, n we'd have been a lot more closer. Maybe he'd have seen me at work, n maybe he'd have felt the pride all over again..
All the things that could've been.. maybe they just weren't meant to be.

Sometimes...

2008-07-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I'm funny and amusing,
Stop thinking me a clown.

Sometimes I'm pretty strong,
Stop thinking me a mountain.

Sometimes I hear whatever you gotta say,
Stop thinking me a punching bag.

Sometimes I dont react,
Stop thinking me cold.

Sometimes I'm quiet,
Stop thinking me aloof.

Sometimes I dont show my hurt,
Stop thinking me heartless.

Sometimes I dont analyse people too much,
Stop thinking me a dumb wit.

Sometimes I think too deep,
Stop thinking me a psychic.

Sometimes I take pleasure in small little things,
Stop belittling my treasures.

Sometimes I break into peals of laughter,
Stop envying my happiness.

Sometimes I mayn't behave perfect,
Stop reminding me how I should be.

I'm only a girl
Just let me be me...

Yeh Aakhari Alvida Na Ho..

2008-05-24T10:48:00.000-07:00

Been looking for this song..

Dhadkane khamosh hai
Kuch kehti nahi
Yeh Akhari Alvida na ho..
Chahte aankhon se Behti nahi
Yeh Akhari Alvida na ho..

Is dard ko dil mein
Dil mein rehne do
Jo kauf hai Ankhon se
Ankhon se kehne do..
Dukh ki Nadi chup chap Behne do
Jo kehna hai tum dheere se keh do
Yeh Akhari Alvida na ho..
Akhari Alvida na ho

Dhadkane khamosh hai
Kuch kehti nahi
Yeh Akhari Alvida na ho
Chahte ankhon se Behti nahi
Yeh Akhari Alvida na ho..

(From the movie Shootout at Lokhandwala)

Spontaneity!!

2008-05-24T01:28:00.000-07:00

Its important to be spontaneous, isnt it? you are who you are.. might as well, remain that way...
why'd u want people to steer u in a direction when you'd rather be the way you are.

Change coz of people who , in the long run dont even matter!!
I think not!

I say stuff that comes to my mind, n i say it outrightly.
Laugh the way i want to..
Sing whenever i want to.
Behave spontaneously.
N i think im doing myself a favour, by not bothering who thinks what about me!n who says what about me!!
coz the people that i care about, already know who i am..
n the people who i care about, wouldnt be talking about me anyway!!N the people who make opinions about u, arent worth your time....

N come to think of it, the people who keep talking about you, either like u a lot, or are just plain jealous!!!!!
Either way, what have you got to lose!! :)

Its his birthday!

2008-05-16T11:01:00.000-07:00

I think this would be the first birthday that I wont be able to wake him up personally, n cut the cake, n have a midnight celebration! But whatever! that doesnt dampen my spirits.. Phones, the next best thing!!!
Anything for my most favourite person in the world.. the man i look up to, n the most important person in my life...
Its Dad's Birthday!!

Wish I could wipe away all the hurt he's been through during all these years, n just allow the happy memories to remain..
Give him sweet gifts n see the happiness on his face..
But what do you gift a man who thinks you are the greatest gift to him....

Love you loads n loads Papa!!
We may fight, or go quiet for sometime, but we've got the soul connection..
Always around..
Love u Dad.
No questions... You are the best Dad ever!!!!!!!!

Nick Names.. :)

2008-03-20T12:08:00.000-07:00

Received an sms today asking me to find a suitable nickname for the person.. and it got me thinking of the nicks that all of us own, n the stories behind them all!
n it compelled me into thinking of the ones that i own, that were bestowed upon me by various people, at various points in time..
thinking of keeping a count of all of them!
Here we go then!!
originally named Gurbani, known as Geenu at home.well mostly! at other times it'd be one of these: gini, gina, ginchal, ginaadu, giniya!(some of them sure r funny!! n the reasons in some cases r funnier still)
moving forward, putt rajasthani(dunno y dad calls me that :) ), putt pardesi.., srinagar(my nani calls me that!)
motu, mithu, sweetu,mota raja, tika(!!!), biba, bugga, tonka bean(!!!), rapunzel, don.
ok now... bani, guri, guruji(!!!!!), gobu, gaggu, G., angrez, gidz(haha, this one just popped up today!)... ummmm.. thinking still.. oh yeah, ginar lala, gainda ji(!!), oh how could i have forgotten! All India Radio, kaka, einstein, jhalli, gulzar, javedi akhtara...
umm i think that does it for now! aint there too many already??

but the stories behind them all make them worthwhile! :)
After all, what are we but our stories!

so who's sharing their nick names with me?? :)

would u call it being selfish?

2008-03-20T11:56:00.000-07:00

when a sibling is about to get married n u feel the first hint of insecurity, would u call it being selfish?coz u feel u'd keep things the way they are for always?
when u feel that what you share with her/ him may not remain the same, would u call it being selfish?

I feel childish, coz i feel there's somebody here with whom i may not share the same camaraderie anymore.. whats more, i feel even more devastated coz im not gonna be able to attend the wedding either.. :(
ummmm.... :(

Dad

2008-03-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

You held me up when I was weak.
You hugged me close when tears I'd weep.
When things got hard, you pushed me through.
You always showed me you loved me true.
I know there were times I made you cry, and to this day, I don't know why.
For without you, where would I be?
I am thankful God gave you to me.
Thanks Dad for you are one in a million.

You're my friend, n I'll always be your little child!
I love you Papa.

If you're not the one..

2007-10-07T13:18:00.002-07:00

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?

If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call

If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I'll never know what the future brings

But I know you're here with me now

We’ll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying in my bed?

If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?

I don’t know why you’re so far away

But I know that this much is true

We’ll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with

And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with

I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away

And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today

‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right

And though I can’t be with you tonight

You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I could stay in your arms..

back!

2007-10-07T12:19:00.000-07:00

m back to blogging(actually this entry marks my journey back to my blog) after such a long time that its taking me time to actually warm up to it.. gosh! never thought i'd come to this!!so many things been happening,te project, the traveling, the illnesses,the shopping, n the thinking..should get down to covering all of 'em one by one! but this is just a warm up rite?it doesnt need to be longer than 4 lines? who could write more than 4 lines anyway! essays?losh, what were those!!

First Sunday in Delhi

2007-07-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

First n foremost, got up according to my own standard time, 10 am.felt good to be able to sleep that much!! Got up n another first, actually had a proper breakfast!! Although, wasn’t feeling too well, but my cousin n I still decided we would go n freak out. Didn’t have too many options, went to Cannaught Place and Jan path and had an awesome time with Roopi. Went to KFC for lunch. Glad that the veggie food is good. Liked it better than Mc Donald. Then headed off to Sarojini Nagar. Went berserk in that crowded place!!
Met up with mom’s best friend. N then headed back home. Well almost.. coz home is actually where mum n dad are.
Miss u Mom n Dad. I just hope I do well here. Coz its not easy staying away from u guys.

2007-07-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

The first few days of work
Beginning the day on 1st july.. all apprehensions galore mum dad n I got all packed into the car,on our way to delhi. What I was worried about was the place that we were booked in, the wet n wild resorts.. sounded wild I thought!!
Anyway, went non stop.not even stopping for lunch, not a surprise that we reached there well before time.. the next 2 hours then got spent waiting for my cousin, at her flat. Or rather, OUTSIDE her flat. J things never r too easy. In the evening began the road to discovery, the resort. N well, did come as a pleasant surprise when we saw that it was a most impressive place, n our fellow residents at the place were the Indian football team. Not that I knew any of them. Well, I still don’t!!
Beginning with the process of getting to know my roommates n I realised I’d been one lucky girl.. n I had the company of four absolutely awesome ppl. My roommate n I were contrasts when it came to our physique. The only similarity being the height. Otherwise she was tall n skinny, n I, haha, tall n grossly overweight!
But we gelled so well, it was amazing!
Then began the first day, darn!! Whoever thought studies ended once u begin work?? I still have an exam to take by the end of this month. N gosh!! The first ten days.. sessions from 9 to 9..
But all this while its been a lot of fun, the activities we carried out were pure undiluted fun!!
Everyone enrolled in the ALP program would remember ‘Meri pyari kaali bhains’ for a long time to come!
(we had to each repeat what the previous player had said n add a couple of words, thus forming a story About the pyari kali bhains radha, who died at the mere age of 4, humein bahut nuksaan hua!! )
The first day of field trip, meeting patients, the first day out in delhi and I ended up with a stomach infection which gradually migrated to become a proper flu.
The field work actually deserves more than just one line of mention.. I ought to write an essay on how ‘life is a local bus’!!!
More later…

On the brighter side of life!!

2007-06-09T06:17:00.000-07:00

well the previous post being such a soppy one, well here's counting the good things in life! for one, exams got over!!! finally a graduate!atleast hoping to be one.Did i mention exams this year were a massive disaster. not that we didnt study! these pics here would be ample proof that we went berserk studying!!

now that's Meg n Jot trying to understand stuff while the academic me was teaching.gosh!! the long hours we'd sit in that greenhouse of a visitors' room in Meg's hostel! got cooked to a frazzle trying to study industrial management!
The net result??
Meg ki maalish champi mere haathon!
Gosh exams can be fun with friends around!! rite jot? n meg?

its freak out time now!! 21 days for the job to begin.. so might as well!!!

A hairy tale!

2007-06-09T03:40:00.000-07:00

Gosh! would someone believe it?? i actually got my hair cut!! not that i had much of an option. the hair stylist made one big mess of the cut he gave me, n for the sakes of appearances, i actualy had to get them cut.
i'd been thinking i'd be jolly pleased, but hell no!!! i'm so darn depressed! thankfully none of my friends have begun cribbing about the hair, but my mum's being so cold about the entire issue, i think i'll freeze in an hour or so!
well the hair does look kinda ok, especially so if you keep the religious sentiments apart( to which i do have a logic that i even tried discussing with God.. if you get your hair waxed n all the jazz at salons, why do ppl make such a brouhaha when a sikh girl gets her hair cut. its about understanding n following the principles,rite? well some ppl might just think i'm wrong, so that sentence aint open to debate!) well wtw, so if u do keep that aside n the fact that ive been the quintessential rapunzel in all groups, AND just think of what that god-awful stlist did to my hair, i don't look too bad.
but but but, i still want the long hair..
anyway, whats good is that i got rid of the split ends.. n m hoping my hair grows soon!!
as they say, nothing stays forever.. even a bad hair cut eventually grows out!
N God, i told you i was going to do it. so i think you'll forgive me.. n Mum?? well, thats an entirely different story?
[ If only she'd realize i don't like the short hair a lot myself! :( ]

2007-06-04T05:11:00.000-07:00

people sometimes make a mockery out of the saddest incidents on the face of this planet. some of my family members just did. they've made a mockery out of my grandfather's death. i do not say my grandfather was a great man, but he was a loving n doting grandfather. at least that is what my parents insist.
but can you love some one who did utmost wrong to the two people who mean the world to you? surprising though it might be, i still did love my grandfather. if for nothing else then for the almost partial love he had for me, eldest son's daughter, n as he would say, the only child in the family.. well maybe that was coz i never did know what had transpired in the family for all this time.. all the things that i get to know after his death cause my love for him to diminish.

However, just how important can materialistic things be? nobody came with them, nobody's gonna be able to take them along. then why all this hurry n scurry after it all..
people wouldn't mind killing someone for one small piece of land? things couldn't have gotten worse!
n when people begin to play dirty politics in your family for the very same reason?what would you think of ur family then?
is the person no longer important? was his death so unimportant?did it cause no difference to you?
maybe it didn't. but is it so difficult to simply let the past be. n live with your head held high??
n just what exactly is the 'society'?? where do u people go, when a mother turns a father against his son?? where do u go when the brother turns his father against his brother?
n then we're expected to do things a certain way, coz a certain society is watching..

Tagged!!

2007-05-24T04:13:00.001-07:00

I've been tagged by the Island Girl. So, here i am, writing my tag!

Rules:

Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write posts in their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
At the end of your post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

so, lets begin..

1. I'm quite sensitive to whatever people say. its the small things in life that make me cry. n when i laugh, its hysteria magnified..cant act prim n propah when it comes to laughing.
2. I love reading, n i keep reading the same books over n over again. when i have nothing better to read, i don't mind reading the ingredients of medicines/ lotions/ creams..hehe
3. I want to learn classical dance, n i would love to learn the guitar. however, i'm stuck with science, research, n in a short while, a job. I can drive people nuts asking them to tell me songs to play on the keyboard! n i cant stand rock. i love hearing other people sing.
4. I'm a foodie n I love baking. cakes, cookies et al.
5. I love kids,n i dont mind playing kiddie games with them.hide n seek is still a fav. Also, I'd rather play basketball or go cycling than indulge in any of the indoor games. I abhor carrom etc. scrabble is an exception.
6. I respect privacy, n i hate it when people go through your cell phones and heavens forbid, ur cupboards n drawers without your permission.
7. I have dormant creativity in that i have a brain full of ideas about what i want to do, but i seldom get to put them into actuality.. n did i mention i've got a wild sense of imagination.(Jopi is witness to that, i can imagine him as a frog,croaking in a muddy pond, with the same face of course.)
8.I hate shopping, especially clothes. however, shoes n watches are a delight! but since i own 8 watches n 34 pairs of shoes already, my mum's put a ban on these..(someone tell her its not a lot)

since i don't have too many friends who blog, I'll tag

The Island Girl ( although she's the one who tagged me!!)
Ja
Kanwar
Mere Mortal
Ishwar

lets hear it from all of you now..

Midnight Blues..

2007-05-22T12:03:00.000-07:00

sitting by myself, in one desolate corner of the house, with a strong wind blowing outside,n creating all the ruckus in the world,why is it that i feel so blue!!!n lonely!!
when depression comes through the door, all optimistic thoughts fly out of the window it seems!!n for wat reason? gosh, if only i knew? women r entitled to mood swings they say..
do people really care?? especially poeple that u care for?
why is it that sometimes u can bear the heaviest burdens, n the at times the smallest of things pique u off.. n u begin to feel unwanted n unloved. its surprising how just one person out of so many ppl in ur family can actually make u question ur own identity in the world..

Never Quit

2007-05-11T02:44:00.000-07:00

Don't Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man.
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit -
It's when things seem worse when you mustn't quit.

Why bloG??

2007-05-05T12:39:00.000-07:00

wondering why ive been putting a lot of mails in my blog??well some mails can be read n re-read dont u think..they inspire u, motivate u, n wats best, make u look up n forward towards life.re-iterate the things most important n valuable.
n then another one, maybe its a non-existential writers' writer-block!!!!
with all ATPs being used up in remembering god-awful diseases, n then worse drugs,n the worst ..now, the chemical structures,well who wouldn't need a bit of pep talk!
doing the needful for myself.
didn't they say, God helps those who help themselves!!heehaaa!
better get going!!

makes a lovely read..

2007-05-05T12:36:00.000-07:00

Lovely Rose at 87

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us
to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around
when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a
smile that lit up her entire being. She said, "Hi handsome. My name is
Rose.

I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave
me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.
She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and
have a couple of kids..."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be
taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!"
she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate
milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would
leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to
this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made
friends wherever she went.

She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her
from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football
banquet.

I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to
the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her
three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and
simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this
whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just
tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing
because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving
success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a
dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do
one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven
years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn
eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea
is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for
things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with
regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our
daily lives.

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those
years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the
wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all
you can possibly be.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

save-the-grace!!

2007-04-26T13:04:00.000-07:00

damn!! never thought i'd have to start thinking this way! god's got an uncanny way of putting u in a spot.. n then see u wriggling!!
last yr of exams, all happiness.. n then came the bubble-burst.. the darned question paper.clinical pharmacology. what was clinical about the questions? lets not even get there!
n following the 3 hours of ordeal, here come the strategies!
save the grace!!! hah!study for the next NINE papers.. n save the god damned grace marks.
why did we have to take exams anyway?
n such lousy ones? i wish i could know who set the paper.. wouldn't mind going to prison for just a bottle of his blood!!!!!!!

All the good things..

2006-12-08T10:22:00.000-08:00

ALL THE GOOD THINGS
In the hurry to achieve all that we dreamt,we forge to cherish all those people who play a significant role in making life worthwhile.. we take the people that we love for granted..thinking that they obviously realise our love for them.hurt ur parents when actually teh anegr is directed towards urself.take out ur stress on ur frnds..well..here's a story to read..

He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary’s School in Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me but Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive attitude tat made even his occasional mischievousness delightful.
Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so much though, was his sincere response every time I had to correct him for misbehaving-“Thank you for correcting me Sister.” I didn’t know what to make of it at first, but before long I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day.
One morning my patience was wearing thin when Mark talked once too often and then I made a novice-teacher’s mistake. I looked at him and said-“If you say one more word, I’m going to tape your mouth shut.”
It wasn’t ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out-“Mark is talking again.” I hadn’t asked any of the kids to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it.
I remember the scene as if it happened this morning. I walked to my desk, very deliberately opened my drawer and took out a role of masking tape. Without saying a word, I proceeded to mark’s desk, tore off two pieces of tape and made a big X with them over his mouth. I then returned to the front of the room. As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing he winked at me. That did it! I started laughing. The class cheered as I walked back to Mark’s desk, removed the tape and shrugged my shoulders. His first words were-“Thank you for correcting me Sister.”
At the end of the year I was asked to teach junior-school math. The year flew by, and before I knew it, Mark was in my class once again. He was more handsome than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully to my instructions in the “new math,” he didn’t talk as much as he did in third grade.
One Friday, things just didn’t feel right. We had worked on a new concept all week, and I sensed the students were frustrated with themselves and edgy with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish the assignment and as the students left the room, each of them handed me the papers. Mark said-“Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good weekend.”
That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper and listed what other students had written about that individual. On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. “Really!” I heard them whisper. “I never knew that meant anything to anyone.” “I didn’t know others liked me so much.” No one ever mentioned those papers again. I never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another again.
That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I returned from vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home, mother asked me the usual questions about the trip – the weather, my experiences in general. There was a light lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a sideways glance. My father cleared his throat as he usually did before something important. “The Eklunds called last night.” “Really!” I said –“I haven’t heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark is.”
Dad responded quietly-“Mark was killed in Vietnam,” he said. “The funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend.” To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me about Mark.
I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. Mark looked so handsome, so mature. All I could think at that moment was, Mark, I would give all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me. The church was packed with Mark’s friends. I was the last to bless the coffin. As I stood there, one of the soldiers who had acted as pallbearer came up tome. “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” he asked. I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. “Mark talked about you a lot,” he said.
After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates headed to Chuck’s farmhouse for lunch. Mark’s parents were there, obviously waiting for me. “We want to show you something,” his father said, taking out a wallet from his pocket. “They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.”
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been read and re-read many a times. It was the exercise that I had given them in their math class.All of my former students started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists."

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that day will be.So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

random thoughts..

2006-09-03T12:26:00.000-07:00

sitting here like an insomniac,wondering how im going to sit through all those classes tomorrow,well im just trying to figure out what exactly to write now that i did finally accomplish the task of opening a blog account for myself!!been ages since i penned down my thoughts,wrote anything for that matter.. my brain resembles a squishy-squashy squid perhaps,its just so fuzzled..been thinknig a lot into the future again today,n somehow for the past few days,the process has been quite liberating for me!gives me a sense of freedom that i long for..